STANDING BY THOSE YOU LOVE.............

The other day I walked into my livingroom only to find "red marker " on my glass tabletop...
At first I was taken back....."I quickly thought" where is my sweetest girl?.........I looked around and there she stood with "evidence" in her hand....."Did you mark on grandma's table"? ....
"She nodded yes" (which is a surprise itself with little ones")........."We dont mark or do anything on grandmas good tables do we?"............( I didnt care if they were old or new her mama wanted her to learn to care for things that were grandmas..........

I took her aside and she told me she was sorry......then she and I went into the kitchen to get
a small cleaning rag and some Windex and take back to the glass table....I explained how this was
wrong to do but I forgave her and she was to clean up her mess.........She scrubbed and scrubbed
until all the marks were gone......( I helped some).........Then she put the cleaning rag and the Windex away.........We hugged and back off to doing the next thing a 3 year old does.....

I was thinking..........how things could have been different....I could have yelled and threw a hissy fit over why she had the marker; why she didnt know better; and then even fussed and fussed to her mother how bad of a child she was..........Would that have helped her in this lesson of life?

Someone once told me to be careful not to "air out" all your laundry to everyone about your
family.........Why? .......because they may change. They may want to change and need to know you love them..........

When my children were very young at school I remember standing in a group of ladies at a basketball game and some were remarking "well if my "Johnny ever gets his grades up....he is just so bad........."; or my husband is out of work again and never helps with the kids"........
What were they doing? They were painting a picture to others of their family..........
Now to be honest they probably ddnt even know what they were doing at the time but as time changes things ....those words could be reaching ears that could discourage someone...

Sometimes others will not understand you being so "unknowing" about that child; husband; friend; or relative.......but you know what they need and have taken it to God and that settles it.

I remember a sweet lady who seemed to have such a good family.....I would ask her "how is your family doing? " "Oh great ;and she would begin to tell me "good things about each of her family members"....( I learned years later that not everything was perfect but I saw how she loved and stood by her not perfect but very happy family)

What should you do if someone in your life isnt perfect at a time? These are some things I have learned from others..........

. Take the problem to God.......if need to take this problem to your pastors wife or a very good friend who will pray for you.

. Shut your mouth.....quit trying to fix it and love them.........You do not have to allow bad behavior that is against your morals or values . Set some rules. (like the table) Love them not the bad behavior....

. Dont air your laundry to everyone........

. Stand by your husband; your child; your friend; your relative.........you may know there is hope.
A friend of my husband and his wife were standing chatting with me when the husband said to me" Boy your husband was sure bragging on you the other day".........she does this and that......
( I was surprised but delighted that he had spread good things about me" ) to someone else.
(If only they knew I wasnt everything that he said that day" ) ha ha

. Remember we are not perfect and will slip up.......We are but flesh ........but with yielding our "mouths" to God and "words" we will get better.......

..I remember a time when I heard some ladies just bragging on this woman I also knew........These ladies were going on and on......( In my heart I thought ; if they only knew what I knew.......I know; I will tell it all...........) Then this little voice said " Stop" ..........(let it go).......and I did. Did that make me righteous? No , it was just one of many many lessons I would learn. By telling all I knew about this person might get back to that person or that persons children and
hurt them very much.

. You may not always understand "why" someone is distant or quiet....They may be going through some "quiet times" with those they love.......Be understanding. Pray for them quietly.

. I am so thankful that my Pastor; kind lady friends and my mom taught me these things over the years......and that God has given me a wonderful husband and children ; relatives; and friends through the years..........I am very blessed.............

. Dr. Jack Hyles used to say on his morning radio broadcast " Be kind to everyone because everyone is having a tough time".................

That has stuck in my head.........all these many years...........I am sure I am not done learning these lessons through my life........but I am thankful for the lessons learned...